Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize