so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
