boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
