im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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