So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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