marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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