she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
