he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize