I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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