I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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