The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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