I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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