capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
