Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
