he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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