I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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