idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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