She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
God I need to hump something, right now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize