I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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