yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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