he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
