You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
