I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
