Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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