I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
