he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
