I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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