woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
