she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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