My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
