I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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