Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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