Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
