wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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