Jerry, you need to find god
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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