$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
