im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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