was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
