What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize