So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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