AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize