I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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