How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
