Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
