So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
