His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
