Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
