The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize