so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
