Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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