how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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