Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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