i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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