Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
