my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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