I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
