I am puke
i need an iv and a liver transplant
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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