Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
