I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
