DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
