:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
