If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
