she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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