the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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