She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
