Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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