i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize